To Solve This Problem

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Try to define your goals specifically, while making them as realistic and attainable as possible.

An example of a poor or broad goal is "I want to be happy." First, define what happiness means to you and what you can do to feel happier overall.

Doubt and negative thoughts form quickly: "What if I haven't made the right choice? Make a list of these issues and define why each one is a problem to you.

Focus on behaviors rather than on yourself or a person (Incorrect example: "The problem is that I am stupid.") (Correct example: "The problem is that I easily allow others to betray or disappoint me, because I trust people too quickly.").

When you fix a symptom, the root problem doesn't go away--it simply manifests as a new symptom. Once you've looked through different lenses and found root causes, you should have a clearly defined problem.

All of us have solved a symptom without curing the real disease.

But again, the analysis is a focused effort designed to prove or disprove your primary hypothesis.

If you prove it's a valuable solution, you'll have some impact and then move on to the next most likely idea. You may not find the biggest idea on the first shot but at least you're making a contribution (unlike those folks who analyze Now you need to start selling that recommendation so it gets implemented.

Strong emotional ties make this process especially difficult.

The final decision is yours: Like many of us, you've likely offered advice to a friend which didn't produce optimal results.